What Your Coach Won’t Tell You About Network Marketing

Home-based business….Let’s be real. Here are all the things your coach won’t tell you until you’ve figured them out on your own. I’ve been through it all-success, failure, desperation, cry fests, paydays, arguments, self-doubt and self-mastery owning my own network marketing business and quite frankly, I’m done. Well, I’m not “done”, but I am done with all the BS. So, here is my story, filled with advice that your upline leader will never tell you when you get started.

First of all, if you haven’t yet, check out my first graphic below:


Okay, got it?  There is the truth! But why oh why would you subject yourself to such false appearances when you start your new biz? Well, the 2 years of me sucking at it would say because you’re trying to get people to believe your life is better than theirs. (Ouch!)

“OMG I LOVE NETWORK MARKETING! I GET to stay home with my kids, plan my life around my job AND get paid to do it too! Wouldn’t you like to do the same?” (Um…no thanks I like my life, K THANNNNKKKSSS!! lol)

Now, really who hasn’t heard that before? AND, thought that before? And truly, who wouldn’t want that? Really?

I know I definitely did and I signed up even before I could afford it. In fact, I believed in the dream so bad that I would often put my account into the negative paying my autoship on my products. I believed in it so bad, I quit all my passions and focused on learning how to be a network marketer as “full time” as my motivation would last. I believed in it so bad that I sometimes over-approached all my friends and family trying to get them to “join my team”. I believed in it so bad that when I was about to miss my big goal, I would buy thousands of dollars of more product myself, just to hit it. I believed in it so bad that when literally everyone on my team quit, I believed it was their loss and not mine…even as I gathered household belongings to sell on yard sale sites just to make ends meet since my network marketing paycheck evaporated when they quit.

Now, there is nothing “bad” about belief. It can be a good and really powerful tool to get things done and achieve results. But when belief causes you to make horrible financial choices, push away friends and family and eat rice and peanut butter sandwiches surrounded by thousands of dollars of essential oil products–then YES!!! It has entirely gone too far. (#guilty)

Like I said, I sucked at network marketing. And it took me 2 years to figure out that I sucked at it. And about 6 months later to decide I was tired of sucking at it and was going to succeed.

Now, back to first my question: Why oh why would you subject yourself to this business model? I told you what my sucky self thought. Now here is what my grown up self has to say about what actually happens when you’re achieving success in network marketing:

It changes you in ways not possible otherwise. It has the potential to help you grow for the better, launch you into the absolute best version of yourself and unleash your limitless potential for greatness.

Yep. It’s pretty awesome.

When there is part of you that longs for something more and to be greater than yourself, then this business is for you. Because you HAVE to have a burning desire for success in something (not based in network marketing) to have a future in network marketing. We call this our why.

Is it private school for your kids? Living on a boat and sailing around the world? Get out of debt (not a good reason bytheway–but a good start to it your reason)? Finally doing that thing you’ve always wanted to do? Etc. etc. etc.

Before network marketing, I had no real network. I had no real friends. I thought I did though, but I didn’t. I worked in the film and modeling industries and LOVED it! But the people weren’t often sincere and there are a lot of scam artists out there too.  I had several friends come and go. And sure, there was drama and the pay was either incredible or completely terrible, but I had passion and drive for it. And you could see immediate results when you saw yourself on film or in a photo and could instantly tweak and adjust your technique for absolute perfection. I was at home and had found my calling in life.598386_440614416003485_685623756_n

It wasn’t long before I started to gain a reputation for myself in those industries and started getting more respect. I also found my crowd of professionals and real friends at this point too! It was also around this time I got married and had had my first child. Having a baby gave me perspective. I wanted more natural options for healthcare. I wanted better food. And I also wanted a steady paycheck–something that doesn’t happen in acting or modeling, unless you are an A-lister.

Me at 32 weeks pregnant with my first. He came 9 months and 1 day after our wedding, but who’s counting?

So, when I was approached about doTERRA, it was literally a no-brainer. All my needs for holistic healthcare were met, the products not only worked but exceeded my wildest expectations and it came with a business plan that promised a steady residual income check that would “never” go away after you got it. Plus, the people that signed me up, took my husband and I to a $30,000 private resort in Las Vegas and picked up the tab! I wanted to be able to do that one day! The whole experience was extremely powerful and etched into my mind even to this day.

Pirate’s Cove, Las Vegas

So, what happened?

I think you may have some clues from my sucky self perspective.

Mistake #1: I gave up all my passions to “dedicate” myself to doTERRA.

I watched from online and recorded phone calls many top leaders and they all seemed to have massive paychecks and nothing else in their lives besides doTERRA. So, I thought to have a massive paycheck I had to have nothing else in my life besides doTERRA. So I put modeling and acting “on hold” until I had built up my massive paycheck. Or at least that is what I told myself. And guess what? You will actually get a lot of praise for doing this. You will get a lot of praise for “going all in” in “dedicating” yourself to your business. And when you suck, your ego is fragile, so this praise actually helped me believe even more that I was doing the right thing.

This is a huge mistake because after 2 years of building (and sucking) at doTERRA, I began to resent it because I had none of my passions in my life. Selling essential oils and memberships for a network marketing company and the entertainment industry are no where near the same!! And with putting my passions (and truly what I feel my calling in life is), totally on the back burner just for a paycheck is no different than the person who gives up their dream to work in a call center. I didn’t even tell people I did acting and modeling anymore and would get mad when my husband would bring it up in public. Why? Because people found it far more interesting than my network marketing business and then I had less opportunities to talk about my business and recruit (omg I know…smh).  I started to feel trapped and I wanted out. And hey, what happened? My business collapsed and I had the best reason in the world to quit and get out…but I couldn’t… and I’ll say why at the end.

Mistake #2: I bought into my ranks. 

Now this mistake will make sense to network marketers, but maybe not to those not in the industry yet.

The term “buying in” means after you’ve exhausted every possible person you could sell to, you buy more product that you don’t need just to hit your sales goal. Sometimes you do it and sometimes the people above you do it. Either way, for someone that sucks at network marketing, this a technique that keeps you mediocre. Some might disagree with that statement, but in the beginning, it gave me a false feeling of success. And to the leaders below me, it gave them a false feeling of success.

A false feeling of success is bad because when the time comes to actually work towards that same goal or a higher one, it feels incredibly hard or even impossible. Then, the success feeling vanishes (because it was false anyway) and you start to resort to cheap methods to bring in sales volume because you don’t know what it really takes, and the structure starts to fail. Plus, now you’ve spent all your profits. So, yay!! Let’s celebrate achieving a new rank!! But tell no one you went broke buying-in to the process. #notcool

Mistake #3: Telling these 3 white lies

This is a huge mistake in any industry. White lies are still LIES! And I found myself repeating things I didn’t understand from leaders I barely knew, sharing other people’s success stories that I did not understand or know the full story behind and down playing the actual amount of work it takes to make a profit in network marketing.

These are detrimental in maintaining trust of those that follow you. And I learned this in the hardest way possible.

If I could go back in time, the biggest things I would tell my old leaders about this business would be the truth behind these 3 white lies:

1-“The product sells itself”

The saying “the product sells itself” is a total white lie. YOU must sell product to get YOUR name on a paycheck. End of story. Plus, I’ve never once seen any of my products get on the phone and follow-up 8-12 times for those difficult clients. Or send out newsletters. Or create Facebook groups. Or teach classes. Or do a text blitz. YOU DO! (p.s. if you are in a company where the product literally sells itself–where the product makes your phone calls, sends your texts and invites to your meetings, and even teaches your meetings–please prospect me!)

2-“You can write it all off in your taxes!”

Does anyone really know what this means? It sure sounds good. Here’s the truth: When you write-off your autoship and other business expenses, this does NOT mean the government will reimburse you for those expenses. I’ve found I get back about 50% of what I spend in my tax return. But I also am married. And I have a kid. And am about to have another kid. And I own my home. So, you might get a lot less than me back if you don’t have all those things. Banking on your tax return making up for what you spend on your business is not something you should do. Getting a tax return is a BONUS! Once you start making a lot of money in network marketing, you won’t get a tax return at all–instead you will owe taxes!

3-“You can make money working part-time!”

If you only knew how hard and how many hours I’ve put into network marketing, it would shock you. If I told you the crazy schedules of some of the top leaders that have “leveled” with me on how much they actually work, it would shock you. I’m sure there are some people that can kill it in this business working 10-15 hours a week, but coming from someone that sucked at this, it takes a WHOLE lot more than that.

See, for me, I would have been fine knowing this in the beginning and wish someone would have told me. I feel like the truth will not only set you free but is a recipe for authentic success. But for many, we are taught to share the white lie that you can make money working part-time. This is a white lie because yes, you can make “money” but you can’t make a “profit”. Making money and making profits are totally different things. Profits come with full-time work only. End of story.

And finally,

Mistake #4: Not building your way

It’s important in network marketing to not “reinvent the wheel” as they say and plug into proven systems that work. But what about when you don’t like those systems? What if they try to get you to do things you don’t feel comfortable doing and disguise it as “getting out of your comfort zone”?

Hmmm… now we are in a dilemma!

I battled this for a long time of doing the proven system, gaining success and hating what I did for a living, but trying to love it and telling others I loved it too…trying to convince myself. (gahh white lies to yourself are the worst!!)

My advice here is to just build your business in a way that speaks to you. It’s YOUR BUSINESS!!! Not your uplines, not your downlines, not your sidelines, not anyone else’s but yours!!! Build it your way! Take what you want from the systems and leave the rest behind.

Will this cause you to build slower? Maybe. Will this cause you to build faster? Maybe. But will you be happy and yourself in your business? YES! And the more happy, alive and feeling like yourself that you are, the faster your business will grow.

So again, after knowing all this, why subject yourself to building a home business?

Well, here’s why:

Home Business Results

How is this possible? The first time I pulled this off, I worked 36 hours that weekend. Then, the 2nd time I did something similar, it was 36 hours throughout the week. And the next time it was 36 hours throughout the month.

However, whether you work 36 hours in a weekend or throughout the week  or spread it out over an entire month (only consider this when you have a large team of active builders), 36 hours of consistent work is the place where things start to turn into success.

And the more I put in those types of hours, ditched my mistakes and added in personal development (see more on this in the next little bit) was when I started not sucking anymore. And when you stop sucking, it starts getting more fun and rewarding. And more doors start to open. And you notice yourself changing, growing and evolving for the better.

Because the truth is:

Network marketing is one of the best ways to start getting the same amount of financial gain for less work as you consistently work overtime. 


So what does all this even mean? Here is my final review:

Network marketing doesn’t suck–you do– until you’re ready to no longer suck.

How do you stop sucking?

Loads and loads of personal development. Read the crap outta those self-help books. In fact, buy the entire self-help section at Barnes and Noble. Actually don’t do that, but you know what I mean. Start to meditate. It’s not weird unless you make it weird. Record yourself saying positive things about you and listen everyday. I’m dead serious–you have to do this. Take a cold shower when you’re feeling lost or in a funk–it works to suddenly inspire and as a bonus it gets all your leg hairs to stick out so you can get a great shave later in warm water. Workout, take care of yourself and have a life vision that you can review everyday. Cut out all negative people and influences from your life. Stop complaining cold turkey. Create a vision board–check out Pinterest for ideas. Get 7 hours of good sleep and do something everyday that brings you closer to your goals. 


Small section of personal development books I have.

And if you’ve taken the time to stick through it during the times when you’re figuring out how to keep your passions your passions, how to stay yourself, how to sell and make it not about selling (even though it is about selling), how to not overspend, how to not cheat your rank, how to stand up for your business despite what others may want for you, and how to stop spreading those white lies, you will be ready to lead an honest team to their highest successes–which will, in turn, take you to your highest successes. And when you build an honest team, no one will ever want to quit and your paycheck will be something that will last forever.

This process happens to everyone-the only difference is the time it takes to get through it. Some people get through it in a week, a month, a year, or in my case– 2 years. And if you stick with it and don’t quit, you will be able to reach those higher ranks and paychecks.

And I know this because I sucked, decided I was tired of sucking, and made it through the transition. And if you want to go through this transformation too, haha, I promise you it will suck, but it’s sooo worth it.


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